This blog is designed to help you in your daily walk with God. All of the lessons will be written by Christian teens who have made it their life goal to help others. I ask that only girls read the lessons done by the girls.

Friday, May 20, 2011

A Christian Boy’s Perspective On Modesty

By: Dillon Mansel


What is modesty? The modern day Webster’s dictionary defines modesty as: “1. freedom from conceit or vanity 2. Propriety (Propriety means socially acceptable) in dress, speech, or conduct.” But Webster’s original dictionary had this to say; “3. Moderation; decency. 4. In females, modesty has the like character as in males; but the word is used also as synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor.” (Emphasis and parenthetical item added)

Now, clearly, the definition of modesty has changed in some ways or rather it has degraded over time. But it has in some ways stayed the same. But let’s think about the Bible’s definition of modesty for a moment… 1st Timothy 2:9-10 says, 

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works”

Let’s think about the things mentioned above… Paul admonishes here that women should dress modestly. He mentioned fancy hair, jewelry and expensive clothes. Why? Because these things are distracting. Could you imagine a girl who always wore Chanel or Prada to services? Wouldn’t that be distracting? Wouldn’t that be… showy..? People wouldn’t be able to focus on worshiping our Father if someone like her was around. 

Now, when you are showing cleavage, wearing tight tops or jeans, short skirts… guess what? YOU ARE BEING SHOWY. If you’re showing off your body are you doing something that becomes a Godly woman? I don’t think so.

Consider the opening chapter of Esther…

Esther 1:9-12 “Also Vashti the queen made a feast for the women in the royal house which belonged to king Ahasuerus. On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, and Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas, the seven chamberlains that served in the presence of Ahasuerus the king, To bring Vashti the queen before the king with the crown royal, to shew the people and the princes her beauty: for she was fair to look on. But the queen Vashti refused to come at the king's commandment by his chamberlains: therefore was the king very wroth, and his anger burned in him.” 

Vashti, who we can tell was a beautiful woman, clearly didn’t want to be immodest. Even though it went against the king’s (her husband) command.

Let’s look at some more scripture… The book of Proverbs is a wonderful and practical book of wisdom collected by King Solomon. The last chapter of this book is a wonderful exhortation from a mother to her son. It closes with an acrostic poem about A Virtuous Woman. 


Proverbs 31:10-31 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”

Now, think about this woman. Does she sound like a woman who dresses provocatively? Does she sound like someone who is boastful or showy? 

These passages that we’ve noticed are very important and straight forward. These should be the standards by which Christian guys measure girls. Do you meet up to these standards? Or are you the girl that the king’s momma would tell him to stay away from?

When it comes to modesty, it’s not just an outward thing, its inward. Modesty is more than clothes, it’s in your head. Do you WANT to be modest? Consider this: Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-28
“Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

It is pretty plain that looking at a girl and thinking sexually about her is a SIN. When you wear tight clothes or show skin, you are leaving no mystery. It’s not that far of a stretch to imagine a girl naked when she is wearing clothes that display every inch of her body. Now, remember what Jesus said… do you want to be responsible for some poor boy’s soul being lost in Hell? Or do you want to do everything possible to help him and other boys out?

The fact of the matter is, if you are a Christian, you are above being immodest. What does Romans 12:1-2 say? 
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Now, let’s look at three things about modesty. These things are what I call “the ends of the deal.”
Have you ever heard someone say “I’ll keep my end of the deal” or “You haven’t kept your end of our deal?” I believe that there are three ends of the deal when it comes to modesty. These three things go together and benefit from each other but they are not conditional. You must keep your end of the deal no matter what. The three ends are:

1. The Parent’s end of the deal. Christian parents should want their daughters (and even their sons) to be modest! Parents, encourage your kids to be modest! It’s a wonderful thing. It is to be respected! The Bible says to; “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6


2. The Girl’s end of the deal. Girls, just because you weren’t taught by momma and daddy to be modest doesn’t give you an excuse. If you are taught, then you STILL have no excuse. Your part of the deal is simple: ask yourself, “Will this cause a boy to lust after me? Will this cause my brother in Christ to stumble??” these are powerful questions. I encourage you to study 1st Corinthians 8.


3. The Guy’s end of the deal. This part is extremely important and guys need to understand that. Christian guys should encourage Christian girls to be modest and pure. And one of the best ways they can do this is by example. Ladies, do you want to marry a Christian? Someone who will help you get to heaven? What kind of Christian guy would I be if I encouraged immodest and immoral behavior? Guys need to uphold the purity of their Sisters. I’m appalled at any “man” who doesn’t encourage modesty and purity.

This letter was written out of pure love and concern for the young people of the Church. I encourage any girls reading this to be honest with themselves… examine your mindset AND your wardrobe. Guys, I encourage you to man up and uphold these girls! Make sure they know that you want nothing to do with a girl who says she’s a Christian and dresses immodestly! And parents, love your children… cherish them. Teach them that purity and modesty, and God’s standard for them, is of the highest importance. 

It is not just the salvation of others that’s at stake… it is yours too.

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